Friday, January 25, 2013
When most girls are little, they dream of being something when they grow up. Something like a teacher, actress, model, singer, etc....etc.... I did toss the idea around a few times on being a singer. I sing. I think I sing well, but maybe I'm like one of those assholes on American Idol. You know, the ones in the auditions that honestly think they sing well, but they sound like a cat in heat? I had leads in the school musicals and I also sang the National Anthem at high school games. I must have been ok...or the only student who had the balls to do it. I don't know. Yet, even though I really enjoyed singing, I always thought about everything that would go along with it (if I was famous). Lots of travel. Lots of partying. Lots of dealing with other snobby Hollywood assholes. But mostly....lots of time AWAY from my family.
Now, what I really wanted to be when I grew up, was a Mom. You can't be famous AND be a Mom. At least not the kind of Mom I wanted to be. I wanted to be the Mom that was always there for her kids. The Mom that enjoyed cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for her family. The Mom that volunteered at school when her kids were little. The Mom that got on their ass about doing homework and studying, and NEVER did it for them. The Mom who went to their sporting events and actually enjoyed them. The Mom who brought them cough syrup in the middle of the night. The Mom who silently cried every time her kids accomplished something great, because she was so proud. The Mom who ran to the mail every day with excitement to see which colleges they've been accepted to. The Mom who was mostly quiet about her kids accomplishments because no one else gives a fuck to hear about how great her kids are. The Mom who loves her husband to death, and her children see this, and want that for themselves someday.
I'm now 41...almost 42. I'm still married to my best friend. I have 1 kid in college, 1 going to college in September, 1 who will be a Junior in high school and 1 who will be in 8th grade. Being a Mom hasn't been easy all these years, and if you think it's hard when their little, it only gets harder. Bigger kids mean bigger problems. I have to say, we've been pretty lucky. Of course, I will take credit for that. Being the "Mom" I always dreamed of, came with lots of discipline. I'm sure my kids have flipped me the bird behind my back, have called me a "bitch" to each other and have wished that they could run away at times. I am very strict, but I have to be in order to make them responsible adults. We still have many years ahead of us and I don't know what the future will bring. But at this point in my life, I feel blessed. I think I'm pretty lucky to say, that the dream I had when I was little.....I am definitely living it. I don't think many people can say that. So if you ever ask a little girl: "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and she responds: "A Mommy", don't ever tell her that her dream isn't big enough. It's been plenty big for me.
Monday, January 7, 2013
There was a guy in front of me in the check out lane at Whole Foods today. He had about 5 bags of frozen cherries on the belt. The cashier asked him what they were all for. He told her that everyday he has protein shakes and he mixes a scoop of protein with frozen cherries and orange juice. The guy was also overweight and said he was trying to "get in shape". Cherries and orange juice contain a lot of sugar. Yes, it may be natural sugar, but it's still sugar. Sugar = Fat One serving of cherries has 14grams of sugar and 71 calories. One serving of orange juice (1 cup) has 20 grams of sugar and 112 calories. Who knows how much orange juice and how many cherries this guy is using. Let's just say he's using one serving of each....he's already at 34 grams of sugar! That's more than 8oz of Coke-A-Cola!
Here's my suggestion on a healthier protein shake. Raspberries or blackberries. A whole cup of raspberries only has 5.44 grams of sugar. Blackberries (for a cup) have 7 grams. Skip the juice. Try using water and ice, or light soy milk (7 grams of sugar), or even skim milk. Milk still has sugar, but for a cup of skim it's only 12.47grams....way less than juice! And of course a scoop of your favorite protein powder can be added to this. Make sure you read the label on your protein for sugar as well!!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
I like to workout on Sunday mornings because Sundays are usually a big eating day in this house! Our Sundays consist of football, food and beer! Why not feel better about your day and fit in a good workout before you eat and drink!!
Here's the workout I did today:
3 mile sprint on treadmill, stopping (to bring your heart rate down) after every 5 minutes. Only stop for about a minute and then continue on.
End the workout with some light lifting- 3 sets of: upright rows (I used 30lb bar, 15 reps), Tricep over head press (I used 20lbs,15 reps) and your choice of bicep curl (I used 10lbs, 15 reps). Do one of each exercise and then begin again until you complete 3 sets.
Don't forget to stretch 10 minutes after workout.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Do your teens have chores? Wait. Do your teens have jobs? If they don't have one of these two things,you're an asshole. Reason being, because one of my kids is going to have to room with someone like them in college one day. Yup. No one likes the roommate who is still breastfeeding off their mommy! You know, that roommate who doesn't know how to do laundry or change their bed sheets (fuckin pig)!! The roommate who can't empty a garbage can or make themselves a fucking sandwich! The kid who calls their mommy and daddy weekly to send them more money because they don't know where it went. That kid (especially a boy) is a future spouse's NIGHTMARE!
Maybe you didn't have a lot as a kid and you promised that one day, when you have kids, you'd give them everything. Too bad. That kid that you are giving everything too is screwed. Especially now in this economy! All the nice things your child is getting accustomed to.....those things are going to be a far reach when they get out of college. Unless of course you plan on letting them live with you forever and pay their bills. Or better yet, you can get them a job from one of your connections, help them pay for an apartment and their bills. Oh yeah, you'll have to because they are still breast feeding, remember? They don't know how to make money and budget it because YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE IT FOR THEM! You better make sure they live close too because you're going to have to help them clean that shit-hole too.
We all love our kids and want what's best for them. But I think what's best for them is a little responsibility. Our job is to mold them into good adults. We have to teach them that it's tough in the real world, make them strong! Teach them they aren't always going to win in their basketball game because there is always someone better! Give them something to work toward instead of giving them a fucking trophy for 6th place! Yeah, what is that??? Kids ALL get trophies now?? If you didn't win the tournament, you DON'T get a trophy because you fucking lost! Period. If I go on a job interview and there is someone better than me, they're gonna get the job. The person who interviewed me isn't going to say that I can have a job too, just because he/she felt bad for me right? Real world folks. Real world.
The best thing you can give your child is a little work ethic. Have them help out around the house. No matter what age they are. This is a family obligation. You take care of them, they need to help out. Have your teen get a job. Yes, they need to concentrate on school, but 2 or 3 days a week isn't bad. What about the summer? They don't have school in the summer. Instead of them working on their drinking habits (yeah...trust me, your kids is experimenting, idiot!) or their tan, they can be making a little moolah! And with that money they are making, they can put gas in the car you bought them instead of getting money from you! All these things are giving them the tools needed for adulthood. They may not always enjoy doing work, (who does???) but they will become wonderful, responsible, hard working adults. And most importantly, they will have the tools to someday, teach their child the same.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
If you want to sit around all day and feel like a fat piece of shit, that's your choice. Because if you sit around all day and don't make it a point to be active, you probably are fat. Diets are bullshit. Some work and some don't. The ones that work only work if you continue them forever, so why not just change your lifestyle instead? Healthy eating and daily exercise are the only way to keep your body looking and feeling great. There are a million resources via the internet to self educate you on how to be healthy, so no more excuses. How proud will your kids be when they see the new you???...and just think of what a good example you will be setting for them. Below is a link for some great homemade protein bars! These are great for breakfast, for a snack of post workout!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
I haven't blogged for months and months. Why? because I'm too fucking busy. I thought when my kids got older, I'd be less busy. Wrong there. It was easier to sling their asses in the car seats or strollers and make them go wherever I did. Yeah, I'd have to deal with their whinny asses or crying, but it wasn't anything a spanking or a threat couldn't take care of. Yeah, I said spanking. I'm Italian. I spanked my kids. You don't spank yours? That's why their assholes and my kids are good. End of story.
Between personal training and bartending a couple nights a week, I just can't seem to pull it together. I'm also my own cleaning lady, and cook. Most people I know have a cleaning lady. I should get one, but I have a real problem with having someone I don't know, in my house, snooping around in my shit while I'm not home. Plus, she'll never do the job I want her too. That's just because I'm an asshole and I don't think anything can be done right, unless I'm doing it myself. This is a self inflicted problem I have and maybe I should get help for it. I seem to micromanage everything everyone does in this house, because I want everything to be perfect at all times. Yes, I'm an asshole. No, I don't give a shit what you think. Having 4 teenagers, you think they could get their chores right. Yet, every time they are given something to do, they do a half-assed job and I have to do it over. Sometimes a chore looks like it wasn't even done, even though it was. You wouldn't even know someone ever attempted to do anything....non-existent.....like a fucking fart in the wind.
I enjoy writing, especially this blog. I'm really going to try and make time to do it more often. It gives me peace of mind and it's something I can do for myself. Plus, it helps me to relax in the morning. It keeps me regular. There's nothing like my cup of coffee, quiet, and my computer. That seems to be the solution to my constipation problems. God forbid if one of those things in not in order, or disturbed for any reason, I am screwed for the day.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I like this quote. It's fitting. Especially for woman.
I was at a function a week or two ago where there were a lot of people I didn't know. My husband and I sat with a group of our close friends and had a wonderful time. The subject of this blog "Denise's Dish", came up several times through the night. Some people came up to me themselves and told me they read my blog and that they really enjoy it and relate to it. While others, would rather talk about reading my blog (negatively) to other people, rather than myself. Of course, this all gets back to me. We are talking about woman here, duh. This isn't the first time. It's been brought to my attention before, that people either love reading this blog...or love talking about what an asshole I am. How I have no "class". The question that is always asked is: "I don't know her, but is she really like that????"..."I can't believe some of the stuff she says"....etc...etc... Here's the deal people, if you don't like what you read, then don't fucking read it.
Let's take that first question: "....is she really like that?" Like what? An asshole? A strict Mom? A foul mouthed Italian? Yeah, I guess I am. What's wrong with that? Who is it hurting? I'm also a lot of other things that you wouldn't know about, unless you're my friend or family. And, what the hell do you care anyway? Is it any of your business? I don't see these people tying to get to know me, so why judge? Woman are great for that. Judging. They just love to sit around and talk about people they really don't know. Why is that? Does it make them feel better about themselves?
Here's my advice to you woman who don't know me, and who enjoy talking negatively about my blog:
1. Stop reading my blog. Go read something else that falls into your perfect lifestyle....like some old Little House on the Prairie books. You can skip around with your lunch pail on the hillside, while all the little birds chirp and think about how perfect life is.
2. Quit wasting your energy on me. Use that energy for something more useful...like exercising and eating healthy, so you can shed a few pounds (cause I'm sure you could).....and while you're at it, think long and hard about how "perfect" you think your life is. When you and your husband never fight, when your children all graduate from exceptional colleges and have great careers, when you never have financial troubles and when you start shittin rainbows.....then you can talk about all of us who are "beneath" you as much as you want. Asshole.